I'm getting fucking tired of this. Since October last year, I've had, oh, seven or so phones, and each and every one of them is gone. I'm left with an empty, phone-shaped hole where my soul should be, but I've managed to identify the culprit: ALCOHOL. Let us review the dead, and see in each case where ALCOHOL betrayed me and got my phone lost and/or fucked up.
02 Apr '06-13:27
Some Cunt Keeps Pissing On My Phone
¶ - Merely posted by asyn in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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26 Aug '05-12:28
Newsdesk! Newsdesk!
From our corresponent in London, christ
It's go go girls and boys the world over. This week: BOOZE TOBACCO DRUGS PUSSY GUNS AND CARS!
It's go go girls and boys the world over. This week: BOOZE TOBACCO DRUGS PUSSY GUNS AND CARS!
¶ - Merely posted by News Desk in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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22 Aug '05-14:22
HOW SICK CAN ONE PERSON BE
MY FUCK
It has recently come to my attention that I seem to be morphing into a sorta self styled GG Allin wannabe.
It has recently come to my attention that I seem to be morphing into a sorta self styled GG Allin wannabe.
¶ - Merely posted by The Count in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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28 Jul '05-21:35
News news get your news here! Only a blowjob! News!
It's been an interesting week sports fans. The quality of news have vastly improved since those silly London fireworks. Unless you are white of course. Then the quality of the news have vastly improved, in your favour. Improvement is a highly subjective phrase. For some, hearing about the hundreds of brown people being killed is a victory. For others, it is a tragedy.
So I guess one is forced to ask the question:"How brown am I?"
So I guess one is forced to ask the question:"How brown am I?"
¶ - Merely posted by Cerebos in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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19 Jul '05-12:12
Fortnightly News Review: Bob and bombs
As a world renowned entertainment conspiracy theorist, my readers expect a certain quality and pervasiveness in my work. Sometimes however, what these readers do not actually realise, is that what I do is hard work. It requires an astute attitude towards facts, the holes in the facts and of course, if it is worth mentioning the facts. After all, if the facts are hardly worth mentioning, it cannot be classified as entertaining.
¶ - Merely posted by Cerebos in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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04 Jul '05-18:20
Weekly World News Review
Another week filled with news and other crap.
This week: Murder most foul. The Americans are at it again. The latest drug curse, apparently makes you quite the sex bomb. And added entertainment info bits for those of you from the UK
This week: Murder most foul. The Americans are at it again. The latest drug curse, apparently makes you quite the sex bomb. And added entertainment info bits for those of you from the UK
¶ - Merely posted by News Desk in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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28 Jun '05-09:55
Weekly World News Review
This week papanihil brings you a new feature called News Desk. News Desk aims to give a detailed report on national and international issues, in an objective and unbiased manner. The views expressed in the News Desk feature is that of the editor, and not that of papanihil as a whole.This week: Taking the terror out of terrorism, Jacob Zuma, homosexual science and chickens.
¶ - Merely posted by News Desk in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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06 Jun '05-03:58
Differences and similarities
From the typing pad of Filthy Phil in London: Jokes, recipes, thoughts and bad spelling!
When I doze off infront of the telly(tellynappin is like an afternoon siesta, it's not proper sleep.) then I dream, a sort of semi-lucid dream(as I begin to understand what the dreams are about, they dissapear/dissolve), on and off - funny thing is tho, my dream audio is the tv audio(?) yet the tv dialogue is totally different?. Like I'll fall asleep through the football and then I'm being called by some babe, shes telling me somthing that I understand and as I focus on her and begin to reply she cross-fades into Gary Lineker giving commentary?. Wierd hey?
When I doze off infront of the telly(tellynappin is like an afternoon siesta, it's not proper sleep.) then I dream, a sort of semi-lucid dream(as I begin to understand what the dreams are about, they dissapear/dissolve), on and off - funny thing is tho, my dream audio is the tv audio(?) yet the tv dialogue is totally different?. Like I'll fall asleep through the football and then I'm being called by some babe, shes telling me somthing that I understand and as I focus on her and begin to reply she cross-fades into Gary Lineker giving commentary?. Wierd hey?
¶ - Merely posted by Cerebos in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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01 Jun '05-10:13
Justin, the judge and other stories about total cunts
Congratulations to Laugh It Off and their figurehead Justin Nurse for winning the "landmark case" against South African Breweries on the whole freedom of speech issue. I mean, wow, imagine winning a case about speech against a whole bunch of alcoholics.
Because of this great event in our democratic and free country, I have decided to write a small play about this long, drawn and costly affair. It's called "Justin, the judge and other stories about total cunts".
Enjoy.
Because of this great event in our democratic and free country, I have decided to write a small play about this long, drawn and costly affair. It's called "Justin, the judge and other stories about total cunts".Enjoy.
¶ - Merely posted by Cerebos in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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20 May '05-03:41
What it means to be a South African
This update originally from nihil.co.za. The author has since eloped to an unknown destination with his sister.
I was released from school with only a few minor cuts and bruises and proceeded to study something or other at a tertiary institution. The facts really aren't that important in this bit. I grew my hair really long and found employment at a professional company in my field, a feat which allowed me the opportunity to earn enough disposable income to flirt with girls in bars on an equal footing. By buying them drinks, I mean.
I was released from school with only a few minor cuts and bruises and proceeded to study something or other at a tertiary institution. The facts really aren't that important in this bit. I grew my hair really long and found employment at a professional company in my field, a feat which allowed me the opportunity to earn enough disposable income to flirt with girls in bars on an equal footing. By buying them drinks, I mean.
¶ - Merely posted by Cerebos in General
Not necessarily written by him/her, although it might have been. Aha!
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